Cheryl: What's Been Getting Me By Lately

Since I've quit my job, I've begun another search for an awesome activist community. The one I had at Hofstra isn't relevant for me another, since I am not a student and I don't feel roots in Long Island. Some of folks I started to meet in NJ have been exceedingly helpful. Mostly I feel a bit adrift, and I wonder why American society makes it so hard to find community when we leave the boxes we inhabited for so long.

I get by with a little help from my friends, far and wide...

"Do-Me" Feminism and the Rise of Raunch by Andi Zeisler

Target Women: Disney Princesses

Carol Queen

Make/Shift - subscribe! and donate to Bitch,which is financially flailing! these mags that sustain and speak out need help to continue doing so.

Beth: A Sane Response to an Insane World

I enjoy going to the movies with my partner. We see a lot of them together. We debate the merits of an actor's performance or the director's point of view. We eat a huge popcorn and drink a big soda and complain about our stomach's on the bike ride home.  It is a simple date-but we enjoy the idea of being engrossed in a film for about two hours after a long laborious work week.

...but the movies are not always a safe place.

I have seen at least 4 movies in the theatres this past month.  Of those four movies-two of them dealt in some scene with rape.  One made light of it, the other portrayed a gruesome intense scene.

The first movie was Choke. This is a comedy about a man who is a sex addict. It is based on the novel by Chuck P (whats his face).  I won't debate the movie, I am no public film critic.  I will say the main character ends up on a date with a womyn who is asking him to participate in her rape scenario fantasy.  The date and the acting out of the fantasy are consensual and use safe words and the such in the movie.   I have to admit that this fantasy makes me uncomfortable-super uncomfortable, but I am not willing to impose sexual norms on what people play out in consensual role playing. What made me uncomfortable while watching this scene in the movie is the snickering of the audience.  The movie is a dark comedy, and the scene was directed in a way that leads into absurdity, but the laughter of the audience still made me feel really uncomfortable. Throughout the whole movie, where this sex addict finds himself in absurd sexual situations, the laughter of the audience made me feel creeped out.  I know how I perceived the movie and how I experienced it, but how were OTHER people perceiving it.  I am left to speculate, but because rape runs rampant in our society, I am left with speculations that sicken me.

The second movie I saw as Blindness. It is about a virus that attacks a city, that causes everyone to go blind. People are sent to detention centers and left to fend for themselves.  Food is provided, but needs to be rationed. One ward in the detention center seizes the food. They first demand money and valuables in exchange for food. When that runs out, they demand the other wards' women.  It is a plot that shows what happens when power goes unchecked, and how acts of violence against womyn are acts of domination systematically. I REFUSE to describe the 15 minute long scene that occurs. I was closing my eyes and plugging my ears. I begged for it to be over. It was absolutely brutal. The director played with light and darkness, so little was actually seen, but it was nothing short of brutal to bear witness to. My partner, turned to me and asked if I wanted to leave.  To be quite honest, if I wanted to I couldn't because my body and legs were frozen.   I literally could not move, and just waited for the scene to be over.  The end of the movie changes and is supposed to be bring hope...but for me that is not what I left with.

The scene itself was not unlike an attack.  In retrospect I should have fought back.

I biked home with my partner , left with the hauntings of that scene. I was nauseated and had a lot of trouble riding. We got home where I had a hard time falling asleep. I didn't even eat that much the next day.

A friend of mine got to talking. She had a professor in a women's studies class that asked the womyn of the class to list all the things they do to protect themselves against rape while walking, biking or driving home.  Some said they carried mase. Others said they did not carry mase for fear it could be used against them.Others carried their keys like knuckles. Some carried baseball bats in there cars. Some wore baggy sweatshirts. The class filled a blackboard.   Many admit that their actions seemed irrational even to them.  The professor responded that they are sane response to an INSANE world.

I am not a film director. I don't know how the director could have done it differently. I understand that violence, coercion and dominance when left unchecked are used against womyn in society.  I understand how it is part of the storyline.  But I do know it COULD have been done differently.  Because I should not have had to pay $11 + popcorn and soda to be assaulted through visuals and sounds. FUCK THAT. Because I am harrassed every day because of my gender-when I walk alone, ride my bike, have a drink with friends, or walk with my partner. Because rape is used as an act of war against people around the world. It is used to "teach people a lesson" when they step out of norms for their gender and society.   I go to the movies to be in a safe space and get lost in a film.  I shouldn't have to see that shit-because the realty for our gender and our gender variants is much more painful and graphic.

The lady who wrote the book CUNT says we should walk out of films like this and demand our money back.  

How many movies have you watched this month that depict horrible acts of violence against womyn?  How were they filmed?  I know how I respond to them, but sometimes do you ever think how somewhere there is someone getting off on them, because they are shot in such a way. does that sicken you? Because it makes me want to vomit.

FUCK that.  Next time I am walking out. And I am letting people know why I won't sit through that shit again.