Beth: Documenting A Womyn's Life

So by writing this blog I am procrastinating on a writing project that needs to be done really soon. But I need to take a break.

I am co-authoring a biography on a womyn named Jodi Tilton. She passed away, almost exactly a year ago. And she wasn't just anybody, she was one of my best friends both in life and organizing. So in a lot of way's I am chronicling a fallen comrade.


How do you document the life of someone who by HIStory's accord was nothing spectacular? She didn't cure cancer or event a bomb or start a war or something. She didn't slaughter anybody, although she often joked of filling a tote bag full of nails and screws and beating her boss with it.



By HERstory's measure she was nothing SHORT of spectacular. She lived a life full of sincerity and integrity. She was always excited about a friend's new endeavor-even the shitty band you were in-and there were so many shitty bands. She was the kind of person who sent post cards for fun; not the kind you buy but the kind she hand stamped herself. She was the kind of organizer who actually has her shit together and returns emails. She would get to an event at Long Island Freespace to set up, stay late to clean up. She would eat a huge piece of cake with me and complain about how the other vegan cake shop had bigger slices. She would jump into a bar alongside the LIRR for a quick shot.


There are other things I am having trouble documenting. She had a chronic illness. How do you write about how that impacted her life EVERY SINGLE DAY without victimizing her. Because she was no victim to ulcerative colitis. She was PISSED about it, and would let you know, but in so many ways, until the last months of her life she was in charge.

How do you chronicle the complicated love affairs. The really shitty ones that were disempowering and made her feel stupid? They shaped her too. How do you document the happier, fluid loves that still contained a dynamic I still might not understand?


How do I document a womyn's life? All the beauty? All the sadness? All the laughter? All the of the body's pleasures and failures? Are there any examples of people who got it right?



I am glad I came to San Francisco to be surrounded by this group of womyn for this week. A year ago I was sitting in a hospital room, holding my friend Jodi's hand as she lay in coma, praying that the legality of dying would just go through. I need to be surrounded by this group of womyn this week. Because documenting the life of a womyn isn't easy, let alone your friend.