Mary: learning in nyc

A coworker of mine told me today that I should stick to straightening my hair everyday because it looks "thin" and "flat" when I let it wave naturally.  When I was a little girl, I had very thick, very straight, dark dark dark brown hair.  After puberty, my hair behave to make tight waves and the excessiveness of it calmed down.  I was never one to look in the mirror and admire myself, but I've always enjoyed my hair as one of my stronger features.

Needless to say, I didn't need the cruel comment this morning.  Nor do I need the daily dose of criticism from this coworker - calling me "rabbit" because I eat a lot of salads, asking me if I'm "special ed" when I don't answer her questions quick enough, which usually involve extremely important tasks like refilling an electric stapler or turning up the brightness on her computer screen.  I intern for the City of New York and while I've always heard jokes about the attitude and laziness of city employees, particularly those with civil service qualifications, I've never been one to really commit myself to a stereotype.  But working at this agency for the past 10 months, I'm becoming more and more convinced.

Today at 4:00pm when I went to clock out, I asked my coworker why she was so edgy today.  She suffers from constant crankiness, but today was terrible, even by her standards.  She told me they were changing her hours from flex time (any 9 working hours between 8am and 7pm) to standard 9-5.  She travels from the Bronx, a long subway/bus commute to downtown Manhattan, and she worries about standing on the trains during rush hour with her chronic back/neck problems.  At 60, she is looking to retire, but needs 3 more years to recieve the maximum payout from her pension.  Together, we found the phone numbers she could call to inquire about a disability package and tomorrow I am going to help her figure out if she qualifies for 3 years disability before retirement.  Regardless, I can pretty much guarentee that tomorrow, my coworker will be equally as miserable as she has been every other day of work since I began last October.  

At school, when discussing the struggle between public property and private housing, the term eminent domain is frequently used.  Basically, it means that the government has the right to take your land, pay you for it, and then do whatever it wants to with it.  History shows lots of examples of this happening, especially in poor neighborhoods, when the government thinks it can "fix" an area by capturing the land and building "affordable" housing on it, or even worse, taking the land and selling it to a private developer.  While the buildings are beautified and the lawns are kept with bushes and trees and gardens, the original residents are displaced and priced out of their former neighborhoods. Look up "urban renewal programs" to get a better idea of this.  NONETHELESS, when these disadvantaged people, now homeless or stuck in an overcrowded facility get angry or violent or frustrated, the city has a fit and says, "SEE! This is why we can't get anything done in this neighborhood, because these people are unruly!" when it is the city's fault in the first place for pissing them off.  I'd be pretty upset if one morning I woke up to news that I was being kicked out.

I guess it's far fetched, but I see a serious relationship between these two situations.  We have displaced people, pissed off because they were dealt a crappy hand, and even more angry because the government sold their house to a rich contractor to build a duplex while they are forced to live in a comparable slum in a different neighborhood.  They are economically, socially and emotionally torn apart.  Then we have my coworker, who has a grudge on her shoulder, probably because her health is a mess but who really just needs someone to cut her a little slack and allow her flexible working hours.  Or, maybe it's time for her to retire, but she doesn't know how to take the first step in maximizing her pension package so she can support her grandchildren that live with her while their mother finishes her drug-bust prison sentence (true story).  I'm first to admit that in many situations, especially those that involved the entitlement of a citizen to government aid, the issue is the laziness of the victim, or the inflexibility and arrogance of the victim.  However!  a lot of the time it's the crap situation the person has been dealt.  We never really, fully understand the struggles of others.  And while it is so easy for the City of NY to wag a pointed finger at those living in the slums, it is equally as easy for someone like me to roll my eyes and give a pathetic glare to an unkind coworker with a serious lack of sensitivity.  I could very easy come home and rant and rave about how low-class this person is, and sure, sometimes I do because yes, sometimes she fulfills every stereotype.  But I'd like to think that for the most part, the bulk of us do the best we can, even if in that particular moment the best we can is kind of crappy.